Asspiring Burglar now a Darwin Award Candidate
by admin on 18/09/08 at 3:22 am
Rarely does a thief get more unlucky than this guy! While trying to break out of the East London Museum, scared by the alarm he accidentally triggered, this guy slipped from a tree he was climbing and sheethed an iron fence post with his asshole. The screams of the man echoed around the museum (who would have thought?) until he was heard by a man driving past.
The fire department rushed to the scene and were forced to cut the 30cm long steel spike from the fence so that they could remove him. As expected, the spike damaged his rectum and intestines. The most ironic thing about this guy is that he might be the only felon to get violated in such a violent way without making it to prison first.
Luckily, Bogdan received some pictures from the failed robbery and passed them on to me. I’ve heard you have to die to be considered for the Darwin Awards (this guy did make it to the hospital once being removed), but if he has any sense of pride, he’ll find a way to take his own life in jail.
17 Comments
John U. Seed
Sep 8th, 2008
You don’t have to die for a Darwin Award. You just have to lose the ability to reproduce. If the spike, for example, was forward a few inches, he would qualify whether he died or not.
Susanna
Sep 9th, 2008
What an ASSHOLE! pardon the pun :)) couldn’t resist
markStaR
Oct 30th, 2008
OH sh#@!!!
no more actually…
monkeipeg
Oct 30th, 2008
Few things deserve a punishment like that, I just don’t think robbery is one of them.
jimmymcgrinny
Oct 30th, 2008
talk about justice!! hell remember that robbery for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG TIME!
pigfucker
Oct 31st, 2008
the darwin awards have an honorable mention category- i’m sure he could qualify for that
Alan in Botswana
Nov 5th, 2008
pain in the arse man.
z-1
Nov 5th, 2008
ass-piring burgler?
McCow
Nov 6th, 2008
Holy pud pucker Assman !!
rip
Nov 7th, 2008
Rectum? Fucking near killed him!
Jon - The DC Traveler
Nov 7th, 2008
There is fairness in thsi world of wours.
charlie
Nov 7th, 2008
he really got f*cked in the end
Spanky
Nov 10th, 2008
I guess that would make him an arse bandit….
rrbb
Nov 10th, 2008
These things should not be stumbled in the humor category. This is absolutely horrifying. That was a human being.
Tubbimora
Nov 10th, 2008
FUCKING OW.
ejes
Nov 12th, 2008
Poor guy.
It’s terrible that people are somehow so desperate in this world of plenty that he would risk his life (and in this case his anus) for whatever he was trying to steal - how terrible does your life have to be for this to be the “better” alternative?
mubbly
Nov 12th, 2008
Anybody notice the title!? ASSpiring because thats how its pronounced!
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