Felonious Ramblings

Prison Slang 101

by admin on 15/10/08 at 8:42 pm

If you’re a fish, this list of common prison slang terms should prove quite informative. Before someone drops the comment and I have to moderate it, no, I don’t watch Prison Break. I have enough memories of prison without tuning in to see Hollywood’s take on the subject.

Wolf Ticket: All bark and no bite. Talking shit with no intention of acting on it. “Man, that fool’s sellin’ wolf tickets!”

Fifi: A device used to simulate sex with a woman. It is usually made by rolling a trash bag inside of a towel. The excess plastic is then folded back and over the outside of the towel and secured in place by several rubber-bands at different intervals along its length. A cup of lotion is then heated and squirted generously inside of the inmate’s new toy.

Dummy Up: Keeping your mouth shut about potentially incriminating information.

Heat Wave or Hot: Bringing attention to those around you by being overly suspicious all the damn time.

Turned Out: Being forced into homosexual acts. “He turned that punk out.”

Drop: Is a package being delivered outside of the prison walls for an inmate on an outside work crew to pick up and smuggle back in. Most drops consist of a can of Bugler tobacco, rolling papers, Vaseline, Syran Wrap, and whatever drug that inmate might prefer. Loose tobacco was the norm because shoving a whole cigarette up your ass without breaking it has to be impossible.

Spread: A spread is a meal prepared by a group of inmates. A trash bag is usually filled with 4 to 5 Ramen Noodles packages, diced summer sausages, dehydrated refried beans, beef or chicken sometimes stolen by the kitchen workers, Louisiana Hot Sauce, and whatever else the group might prefer. Boiling water is then added to the mixture and the trash bag is tied closed and encased in newspaper to keep the heat in. After about 5 minutes the trash bag can then be untied and carefully torn open to provide a perfect eating surface. Not until you pour the melted cheese over the top through. College kids everywhere should give it a try. You’d be surprised.

Keister Bunny (pronounced Keester): The person packing his ass. This term isn’t reserved for the people bringing the contraband into the place either. Many inmates keep their anal cavities packed as it is the last place correction’s officers usually search for banned substances and items. The announcement of “Full-Body Cavity Searches” sent most of the bunnies scrambling from the day-room with the quickness.

Mule: See Keister Bunny

Canteen/Commissary: Items sold to inmates by the state. This includes everything from Ramen Noodles to New Balance and Televisions.

Store: An inmate runs a store. This means his cell is usually packed with excess amounts of canteen. The merchant prisoner usually charges two for one. The prison system refers to this as bartering and it is not permitted.

Rollie: A rolled tobacco cigarette. When papers aren’t available the note section of state-issue Bibles are the usual substitute. Individual rolls of toilet paper are also encased in a waxy form of paper which could also be used. A rollie generally ran you from a $1 to a $1.50 worth of canteen. Also referred to as a paper wafer or skin dip.

Tailor-Made: A whole cigarette as you would find in a pack. A rarity in prison. (I explained why already. ) These generally ran you $3 bucks a piece and were most high in demand when of the menthol variety.

Snitch: Anyone who rats someone out for something. Whether it occur inside the prison walls, in the court room, or behind closed doors at the police station.

Dry-Snitch: Someone who rats another person out unintentionally or through more clever means. It is an indirect form of snitching which generally consists of talking loudly or acting suspiciously when officers are in the area.

Shake-down: Cell search. They occur randomly and not-so-randomly, depending on how badly your unit is infested with informants.

Hustle: Almost everyone has a hustle behind the walls. A hustle is your on the side trade to pad your footlocker with more foodstuffs. Forms include drawing, drugs, writing, bartering, gambling, tattooing, and many many more.

The Man: Just like the police, prison officials are referred to as The Man. Prisoners often refer to corrections officers as Boss (a reverse acronym for Sorry Son of a Bitch) too.

Hooch/Pruno: Fermented bread and fruit which is held in a trash-bag until it becomes alcoholic. The smell alone is generally enough to keep most inmates from trying to brew their own.

Chow: Dinner, Lunch, and Breakfast. They are all Chow.

Lifer: Any prisoner with a life sentence.

Jacket: Prison file containing a prisoner’s criminal history. A stand-up con has nothing to hide and openly shares the contents of such. Only child molesters and snitches keep theirs confidential.

State Issue: Anything provided by the state for free. Soap, toothpaste, shoes, socks, etc.

On the Leg: An inmate always chatting up the correction’s officers or anyone else in a uniform. With this is going on it is not uncommon for someone in a cell or in the day-room to shout, “Get off the leg already!” or, “Suck him off too!”

Cho-mo, Tree-jumper, Baby-raper, Chester, Rapo: A child molester. The most hated person in prison. More than snitches or cops believe it or not. In Colorado they were housed at the Fremont facility to protect their lives. We referred to it as Treemont. I could probably come up with a few more names for these pricks, but I’ll leave it at five and with this note: I once saw one get his wig split by a tube-sock weighted with Irish Spring. A one-hitter-quitter that likely served him as good as castration. Prison justice can be beneficial at times.

The Yard: Where all the inmates get to play. All the “good” inmates anyway.

Bitch/Ho/Punk: Homosexual or weak, cowardly individual. If you call anyone one of these you better be prepared to fight. If you fit into one of these categories, you may be forced to do chores (cleaning some dudes drawers), bend over, or pay rent (protection money) to other inmates. In some cases, however, Bitch is used in this sense, “They gave me the bitch.” This is referring to being sentenced as a habitual offender. In many states this means you could get 25 to life for your 3rd offense regardless of the severity of the felony.

The Bootie Flu/The Ninja: AIDS/HIV

Moist: As in “You’re Moist.” You know, soft as hell.

Kite: A note passed between inmates usually containing illicit information, such as an order to beat or kill someone.

Shit Watch: When an inmate has swallowed drugs or a kite containing gang information to avoid it be confiscated by the police, they are placed on a shit watch. A cell with nothing more than a bed. If you have to go, you’ll be doing it somewhere on the floor or in a bucket they’ve supplied you. I’ve heard of inmates holding off a number 2 for up to two weeks. When he had to go, he crawled under the bed and swallowed the information again to avoid turning it over.

Peckerwood: A racist white bastard.

Race Traitor: The Peckerwoods most hated enemy.

Lean: Those from Texas already know what I’m talking about to a degree, but the term Lean in prison referred to Sucrettes. You could order the cough drops on canteen and then melt them down in your miniature crock-pot. After allowing to cool a bit, the medicine can then be drank down providing an adequate buzz very familiar to that of Hydrocodone. They banned the Sucrettes just before I was paroled.

Cap: A cap always referred to the lid of a Chapstick. This was used as a measuring device for marijuana and always cost you $25 a pop. The joints people would roll would be no more than an inch and a half in length, but Colorado bud is all good so there were never any worries about whether or not you’d get high.

Blunderguff: The name for a fart when an attractive woman is in the area — specifically a woman who’s visiting you in jail.

Zu-zu’s and Wham-wham’s: Candy or snacks.

Fishing: A method for passing kites or other forms of contraband between cells. Given the time many inmates are secluded in segregation, there is plenty of practice time to perfect skill.

Gladiator: Young inmate out to make a name for himself so he doesn’t become the aforementioned “ho.”

Checking In/PC (protective custody or punk city): When an inmate requests or is forced to move from general population to a special needs unit for fear of his life being taken or his ass being reamed. The inmate featured in the image below got off easy with his tattoo, but he is in protective custody for sure now.

Skin Beef: Refers to a charge of sexual assault, rape, molestation, etc.

Bug Juice: Methadone

PV: Parole violator

Rug/Toad: Slang for black inmates.

Main Line: General population or main population of the prison.

Catch a Ride: Usually uttered by the resident drug scavenger seeking a free high on your supply. “Can I catch a ride?”

Cell Soldier: An inmate who only runs their mouth behind closed doors. More often than not they fit into the dry-snitch category also.

Books: As in, “Momma, put some money on my books.” Nothing more than a convict bank account.

Ad Seg/The Hole: Only had the pleasure of going here a few times. Administrative segregation is pretty simple. No books, rare recreation time, and showers three times a week. Did I mention 23 hours a day you’re in a 6′x8′?

If you have any words to add to the list, please drop a comment and I’ll gladly include them.