Archive for 'Dumb Criminals'

That’s One Spicy Meatball

That’s One Spicy Meatball

This dumb criminal (more like human) story comes from Australia. For Americans, it may bring to memory an old Prego Pasta Sauce commercial. Their 80’s catch phrase is simply too ironic given the story’s sordid details. “It’s in there” and “Now with MORE meat” were never more appropriately used. That was sure gonna be one spicy meatball.

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That Must Have Been Some Good Chorizo

That Must Have Been Some Good Chorizo

Yes, those are diapers and that is what looks to be shit inside of them. The border patrol seized the soiled undergarments from a woman crossing the border into Texas from Mexico. The shit turned out to be nothing more than chorizo (pork sausage), but was seized anyway. The border patrol has recently upped its measures in preventing illegal importation of fresh foods which may threaten U.S. agricultural production.

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He May be Sucking Now

“The subject was pleasing himself sexually with the use of the vacuum on his penis. Sgt Garabelli advised me he seen Jason Savage using the vacuum on his genitals as he was arriving at the venue on foot also.” I feel sorry for that kid when he gets back to jail.

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Silver Surfer Nabbed for DUI

A man, seemingly obsessed with precious metals, was arrested early Halloween morning after crashing his gold Mercedes into a retaining wall. When the police showed up they found 28-year-old Travis Stone drunk and masked in silver paint while asleep behind the wheel.

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Miss Tokin’ Teen Louisiana USA

Further proof (as if we needed any) that mental prowess has little to do with beauty pageant results, Miss Teen Louisiana USA — Lindsey Evans — was arrested for skipping out on her dinner tab. Stupid? Yes, but not as stupid as leaving your purse behind… with your license and a fat sack of chronic for the cops to find.

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